Sunday, September 23, 2007

still sober

i am still sober. saw jeremy today too.

my sister has interim custody until next month. then the ministry is going for a six month order. he would still be staying with my sister.

jeremy's dad saw him today too. at our church.

i am quite tired. it has been a good day. will write again.

Sunday, September 9, 2007

back online

i have not blogged for a long time. i have missed it though.

my life right now feels like it is in limbo.

i currently have no place to live. no place to call home. i am struggling to stay sober and straight. and i don't have jeremy anymore either. which may or may not be long term.

back in july i was raped. within an hour of that happening i started a neighbor's door (in my apartment) on fire. then i was evicted.

after that i stayed at this "supposed" Christian treatment center. i was there for about 5 weeks. then i left because i was not allowed to take clonazepam which i need to take.

i then went to stay with a friend and got jeremy back from my mom. my mom had taken all the grandkids for the summer.

i had jeremy back for about 6 days and then i decided to drink. and i also ended up trying crack for the first time. i was a totally mess for a couple days.

when i came back here to my friend's house she wanted me to call the ministry. so i did. and a social worker came and we drove Jeremy to my sister's house where he will be staying for awhile.

i will be talking to a social worker tomorrow to find out what happens next. i don't know what is best for me or for jeremy.

one day at a time. one step at a time. baby steps. that's what i am being told. but my life feels overwhelming much of the time these days.

i know i need help and i can't do this on my own. it is just that i do not know what to do first. i have a hard time planning things long term. mostly i can't plan anything beyond 7 days.

well i am waiting for jeremy to call me and also my friend.

will write again sometime. probably while i am here at least because they have the internet.